U-Turn…

My BODYCOMBAT marathon didn’t quite work out the way I expected it to.

Sad? Yes…

Sorry? Yes also…

*sigh*

Sometimes we expect too much of ourselves. There’s no one else to blame for it. Like I always say, “the greatest enemy is yourself!” How true is that?

Right now I have to take a turn. What kind?

This kind. I need to take a U-turn. Go back and start over. I’ve been stubborn. I’ve been doing what I should not do. Well, I’m guessing you might be wondering what am I talking about. It doesn’t matter, really. It’s me. It’s my body which I didn’t listen to. Now it’s screaming for help. Serious help. We always tell out members to “listen to your body”. In real fact, as instructors, we are the NUMBER ONE in NOT doing that.

Why?

Coz we are crazy! We love what we do so much that we can’t give it up. We want too much that we can’t handle.

Do I regret?

Not really. If I hadn’t made a mistake, how am I suppose to learn from it? Obviously, making mistakes allows us to learn. Mistakes teach us something. Mistakes are there to make us become better at what we do. It isn’t a failure. It is taking a step back and learning another way of what NOT to do.

I’ve made one and so, I’ve learned. It’s a physically painful process. Oh yes, and emotionally challenging too.

This is how I feel. Constrained and bedridden. Of course it is only exaggerating… but for this week. I’m gonna be like that. I chose to rest. I chose to let it go and let God lead. And when time comes….

Will I ever be able to do what I love most?

It seems very far away now. I should learn to take things positively. Maybe there’s a reason for this. Some time for contemplation and rest. Think about my life and how good the Lord has been. Instead of asking “why”, just surrender. Let it go and let Him know my deepest thoughts. Only God can understand. Only He is able to make us feel content.

Lord, I am waiting. Teach me Your ways and heal me. Give me new foot! It is so possible for You to do. I will not be complaining anymore. I’ve learnt. You know how I’ve hated not knowing if it was a “yes” or a “no”! I dislike uncertainty. It makes me confused. But this time… I’m gonna trust You. Removing the mountain of doubt isn’t an easy task, but I’m making it a habit.

  Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am faint; 
   heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.
                                                         Psalm 6:2 

 

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