Thank God for U-turns

I’ve had so many crappy days this month and what? It’s only been 15 days… =.=”
People always say that no matter how crappy days are it is because we chose it. We chose to feel crappy about it and we let it eat us. Is that really true?

Sometimes a serious of unfortunate events does happen. For me it did-today. When things happen not the way we want it to be, there is little we can do. Often we sulk and complain about it. Let it eat us and ruin our day. I admit I complained and that makes me human. No matter how hard I strive for perfection, it never comes…

It was today, at a point of desperation I cried out and said “Goddddd… please make a way… I need to get there and I really… don’t… wanna… be… here!”
I felt like this I could rip off my hair and it’s this frustration/failure feeling that I hate most!

I’ve been looking forward to a Wednesday that is different from other Wednesdays but it seems to not be the plan. So yea… being stuck and not knowing what to do.

At that moment-there was a U-turn sign. I remember my eyes was like and quickly I went on my way. I believe that God heard me!

So… thank God for U-turns in life. He gives us 2nd chances and He opens a way for us to walk back to Him. I thank God for what He had done… things which sometimes I cannot understand with my human mind. Yet I believe His blessings will flow and He cares. So what could happen?

When in chaos – Lord, be the wind in my sails and calm the stormy seas.

and He says… “… be still, and know that I am Lord!”

Faith is like a muscle. The more you feed it, the bigger it’ll get!

I am imperfect. Many many flaws. I guess the danger is when we start to fear ourselves and forget who we are. Someone always said “don’t lose your identity”. I won’t, because I am changing to be better. I am growing to be a more mature and responsible person. With these changes… maybe my identity would change. Because my priorities might change too. Only time would tell. We’ll see…

U-Turn…

My BODYCOMBAT marathon didn’t quite work out the way I expected it to.

Sad? Yes…

Sorry? Yes also…

*sigh*

Sometimes we expect too much of ourselves. There’s no one else to blame for it. Like I always say, “the greatest enemy is yourself!” How true is that?

Right now I have to take a turn. What kind?

This kind. I need to take a U-turn. Go back and start over. I’ve been stubborn. I’ve been doing what I should not do. Well, I’m guessing you might be wondering what am I talking about. It doesn’t matter, really. It’s me. It’s my body which I didn’t listen to. Now it’s screaming for help. Serious help. We always tell out members to “listen to your body”. In real fact, as instructors, we are the NUMBER ONE in NOT doing that.

Why?

Coz we are crazy! We love what we do so much that we can’t give it up. We want too much that we can’t handle.

Do I regret?

Not really. If I hadn’t made a mistake, how am I suppose to learn from it? Obviously, making mistakes allows us to learn. Mistakes teach us something. Mistakes are there to make us become better at what we do. It isn’t a failure. It is taking a step back and learning another way of what NOT to do.

I’ve made one and so, I’ve learned. It’s a physically painful process. Oh yes, and emotionally challenging too.

This is how I feel. Constrained and bedridden. Of course it is only exaggerating… but for this week. I’m gonna be like that. I chose to rest. I chose to let it go and let God lead. And when time comes….

Will I ever be able to do what I love most?

It seems very far away now. I should learn to take things positively. Maybe there’s a reason for this. Some time for contemplation and rest. Think about my life and how good the Lord has been. Instead of asking “why”, just surrender. Let it go and let Him know my deepest thoughts. Only God can understand. Only He is able to make us feel content.

Lord, I am waiting. Teach me Your ways and heal me. Give me new foot! It is so possible for You to do. I will not be complaining anymore. I’ve learnt. You know how I’ve hated not knowing if it was a “yes” or a “no”! I dislike uncertainty. It makes me confused. But this time… I’m gonna trust You. Removing the mountain of doubt isn’t an easy task, but I’m making it a habit.

  Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am faint; 
   heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.
                                                         Psalm 6:2 

 

The best time…

The BEST hour at work is LUNCH HOUR!!!

Yep, that is exactly how I felt! It’s like a total FREEEEEEEE bird!

Why?

Coz I find the people i my department not that friendly. Well, maybe that is because I work with them. And being in an office. Closed-up. Air Conditioned. Dim. Makes me feel lethargic all the time. Not like I can have lunch with them as well. Coz there are ony 3 of us. We can’t all go out at once coz “someone” always has to be in, just in case any student/parent comes. Especially at this peak season.

At my usual lunch hours, I lepak in the pantry. With the people from other departments and I have to say, I LOVE IT! We shared, talked, laughed, talked again, eat. It’s the time where we can enjoy one another’s company without feeling all the rush and stress from work. It’s “the” place I’d like to be in this workplace and I get to express and be myself. Probably it is good to have flexible lunch hours. I’m not complaining of late lunches or anything. Sometimes, of course, I feel starved. Then again… the pantry has FOOD. All kinds. Hahahaha… I have to say, I eat most of it! Who doesn’t love food? I do!

So… look forward to your lunch hours and don’t forget to bring an apple! That was totally random! :p